Coping during Covid - Part 2

5 Tips: What to do when everyday feels like Groundhog Day

Day after day (after day!) feels exactly the same. I get it, I’m right there with you. There are many things about “Sheltering In Place” that have been really hard. I’ve heard clients, as well as family and friends, talk about how they “shouldn’t feel bad” that it’s hard staying at home because they haven’t lost their jobs, or even worse, a family member to the Coronavirus. But, just because you haven’t experienced those specific losses, doesn’t mean you haven’t experienced loss or aren't struggling with the day to day. I compiled the following tips to help you get through the day. To help you feel better, at least a little bit. You can get started on improving your mood TODAY!

Tip #1: Break up your day

• Chances are you’re doing the exact same activities each day like working or school work. This reality really makes you feel like each day is a repeat of the previous day. But, if you change your routine, it will help today not feel like yesterday did. You could start work earlier (or later!) and if your job has flexibility, take a longer lunch break. With school, you might not be able to change when your online classes are, but you could switch up what time of day you usually do your homework. Try starting it before 10 pm or 1 am (Yeah, I was once a college student! :)). Try journaling in the morning while sipping your coffee or watching your favorite show in the middle of the day instead of waiting until the evening. Change something, anything, and experience how a seemingly insignificant thing makes a positive difference!

Tip #2: Change location

• This tip goes hand in hand with the first tip! We’re creatures of habit and tend to have the same routine, especially right now. But, try changing WHERE you work, do school work, even where you drink your coffee! Providing it’s safe, take the kids to play in the front yard instead of the back. Put down a blanket in the living room and have a lunch picnic with the kids instead of eating at the table. You could make those phone calls from your back patio or while on a walk. And Speaking of walking…..

Tip #3: Move your body

• It doesn’t matter what the weather conditions are (I’m thinking of all of you in the Eastern states where there’s snow!), it’s helpful to get moving! It has been well documented in research (I won’t bore you with the details) that walking, for even 10 minutes, decreases depression and improves mental health. Even stretching and/or yoga is super beneficial. I don’t know about you, but my neck and shoulder muscles get very tight when I’m stressed, so getting up from your computer or putting the baby in the swing and moving around is very helpful. Even the smallest movement will help, so don’t feel like you need to start an exercise routine or anything! Now is not the time to put more pressure on yourself. 

Tip #4: Practice Mindfulness

• I hesitate to even say “mindfulness” because it has been such a buzz word in therapy circles for a decade, but the goal is to practice being in the moment. We’re on auto-pilot throughout much of our day. You probably eat lunch while checking your phone or multi-tasking in some other way. You go, go, go, moving onto the next thing. Doing this not only breeds stress and feeling hurried, but you miss out on savoring the small things in life like what your lunch actually tasted like. So, try focusing on what you’re doing and slowing down. What does the keyboard feel like under your fingers? Is your breathing slow and steady or quick and heavy? Is your body tense? What was that thought that just quickly ran through your head? Bring your focus to this moment and just be. 

Tip #5: Plan something

• I recommend this tip to my clients whenever they voice concern over something in the future like spending a holiday by themselves or a loved one is leaving and they’re anticipating being lonely. Planning something to look forward to not only brightens the day but shows you that when it feels like everything is falling apart, you DO have control over something. You could plan a new recipe to try tomorrow, schedule a video call with a friend, buy a new candle to try out, add a new coffee creamer, plan out how you’ll re-arrange wall art in a room (if that sounds life-giving to you!), walk your dog in a different location, etc. The list is endless and, again, it might seem like something so small won’t help, but just try it and see for yourself! When I suggest this to my clients and they try it out, they’re pleasantly surprised. Who doesn’t like having something to look forward to!?

Those are my 5 tips. I hope you’ll implement them, even just one or two! And If you’ve found something that has helped you during this pandemic, I’d love to hear what it is and how it has helped! You can email me at sarah@sarahsanderslmft.com or join my professional Facebook page and DM me.

Coping during Covid - Part 1

Look at me, it’s okay…..I’m here for you

In the midst of this COVID-19 Pandemic, I’m finding myself being more active and directive with my clients than I usually am. My clients are typically high-functioning, successful women who struggle with anxiety. Sessions usually consist of my clients spending the majority of the session talking….processing…..getting choked up and crying….. My role is to be an active listener, fully focused on their words and body language. I support them to lean into the big feelings and let it all out. Oftentimes, I go the whole hour hardly saying a word. Since my clients are driven and competent people, they don’t need me to say “do this” or “do that”...and that’s just not usually my style. I want to be a safe place for them to let it all hang out and feel no judgement. However, this past week, I’ve noticed an interesting shift in several of the sessions: I’m more directive and plan-oriented. I can sense that, right now, they need me to speak up more and take a more active role. This unprecedented pandemic time is causing stress, and a lot of it, for most of my clients. Their normal has been turned upside down with “stay at home” and “shelter in place” orders. Our sessions have moved from in-person to video or phone. It’s a very trying time for a lot of people and every single person has been impacted on some level. As I sit here and think about my sessions this past week, I’m reminded of child birth. 

If you’ve ever given birth, you probably have a hard time comparing it to anything else you’ve experienced. The process is both unique and beautiful, but hard at the same time. The “transition” time between 8 centimeters and birth is very disorienting. It’s the time when most women want to give up and feel they can’t go on. The woman is exhausted and just ready to meet the incredible life she’s been growing inside of her. This past week has felt like the “transition” period for the pandemic. My clients (as well as my family and friends) are mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted and ready for life to move forward. They want the painful contractions to end; to see light at the end of the tunnel. Many of my clients have hit the proverbial wall. They feel overwhelming anxiety, depression returning, and just in general "maxxed out." Just like a birth doula (trained professional who emotionally supports the woman) locks eyes with a woman who is in transition and gently tells her, “Look at me, it's okay...I'm here for you. It's just a little bit longer,” I am also looking into my client’s eyes, connecting with them, and saying the very same thing. I’m reminding them of all the hard work they’ve done in the past, how they’ve grown, the mountains they’ve successfully scaled, and now making a plan with them on how to take care of themselves. I don’t know when the Pandemic will end and when we’ll be able to emerge from our houses and go back to hanging out with friends and seeing people face to face, but, in the meantime, we all need to remind ourselves that it’s okay that this is hard. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and sad. It’s okay.