THERAPY FOR THE STRONG, CAPABLE WOMAN
You can learn how to prioritize your own needs without becoming selfish.
Are you tired of being the one everyone relies on?
You care deeply about the people you love. You're responsible, capable, and used to being the one who gets things done. But, you're exhausted from always being the one who takes care of everyone else while your own needs keep getting pushed aside.
In person in Chico, California and virtually throughout California
Maybe you've learned to hide more than you realize.
You hide how exhausted you really are.
You hide the fact that sometimes you don't want to be the one who takes care of everyone else.
You hide your needs because you worry that focusing on yourself will make you selfish.
And when you're having a hard day, you may keep it to yourself because you're afraid that if you let someone see how much you're struggling, they'll think you're too much.
So you hold it in.
You tell yourself you should be able to handle it yourself.
You keep going.
You take care of everyone else.
And from the outside, you look like you've got it all together.
And you do have so much good in your life.
But inside, you're longing for someone to see how hard you work, the exhaustion, the pain, your struggles—to see you—and not tell you you’re being too much
Now you're probably wondering...
Why can I take such good care of everyone else, but struggle to take care of myself?
Well, you’re wired for survival.
I believe you learned how to cope with what you experienced in the best way you could.
Maybe you learned that being needed made you feel safe or valuable.
Maybe you learned to pay close attention to everyone else's emotions while ignoring your own.
Maybe keeping other people happy helped you avoid conflict or rejection.
Maybe being responsible, successful, and capable became a way of proving you were good enough.
So you became really, really good at taking care of everyone else.
But somewhere along the way, you may have learned that your own needs could wait.
These patterns didn't come out of nowhere.
They are ways you learned to stay safe in your world.
You're intelligent. You're hard-working. You're dedicated. You've probably already tried to understand yourself, change your habits, be less anxious, stop overthinking, set better boundaries, or simply “handle it.”
If this were an easy problem to solve, you would have solved it already.
You've already been trying hard.
So I don't think the answer is to try harder.
I believe the question to start asking is: “What did I experience, and what did I learn to do to stay safe?”
Hi, I'm Sarah.
I’m not just a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 15 years of experience. I’m a deeply compassionate human who has been a client myself.
I became a therapist because I know what it feels like to be hurting—and to have one person make you feel like you're going to be okay.
In college, I had a therapist who became a bright spot during some of my darkest days. She was warm, down-to-earth, and real. She greeted me with a smile and listened to me.
And she changed my life.
She showed me the kind of therapist I wanted to become: someone who could sit with another person in the hard places and help them believe that things could be different.
That's the kind of therapist I strive to be for you.
You don't have to have the right words. You don't have to have everything figured out. And you don't have to worry about being too much.
I'll meet you where you are, help you make sense of what you're experiencing, and walk alongside you as you work toward something different.
In our work together, we'll gently explore the experiences that shaped the way you see yourself and relate to other people.
I'll help you understand why you've learned to put your own needs last.
And you won't have to figure it all out alone.
I'll be there with you, helping you make sense of what you've experienced and learn to see yourself with the same compassion I'm offering you.
We can dig deeper than simply adding another self-care suggestion to your already-full list of things you're supposed to be doing.
I can help you uncover the roots to the pain and trauma and find the deep healing you’re longing for.
When understanding isn't enough, we can go deeper.
You can know why you feel the way you do and still find yourself reacting the same way.
If you've experienced trauma or painful experiences that continue to affect the way you see yourself, your relationships, or the world around you, EMDR can help you deeply process what happened so it doesn't continue to have the same hold on you.
You deserve more than simply learning how to carry your pain better. You deserve the opportunity to heal.
You’re the one people can count on.
You show up. You remember the details. You take care of things. You notice when someone isn’t okay.
From the outside, you look like you’re handling it all.
But inside, you’re tired.
Your mind is constantly running—replaying conversations, second-guessing yourself, worrying about what people think, and wondering if you somehow disappointed someone.
You can spend all day taking care of everyone else and then lie awake at night because your brain won’t shut off.
You tell yourself:
I should be able to handle this.
Other people have it worse.
I have so much to be grateful for.
I just need to get better at managing everything.
So you keep going.
You say yes when you want to say no.
You worry about hurting someone’s feelings.
You give everyone else understanding that you rarely give yourself.
And when something goes wrong, your first thought is often:
“What did I do wrong?”
When Being the One Everyone Counts On Starts to Cost You
Maybe you’re the person everyone comes to when they need support—but you don’t really have anyone you can lean on.
Maybe you’re surrounded by people you love and still feel lonely.
Maybe your shoulders are always tense, your sleep is restless, and your body is carrying stress your mind has learned to ignore.
And maybe the hardest part is that nothing is terribly wrong.
You’re functioning. You’re successful. You’re showing up.
So why don’t you feel okay?
Maybe you don’t need to try harder.
Maybe you’ve just been trying too hard for too long.
You’ve become so good at being capable, helpful, understanding, and needed that you’ve lost touch with what you need.
Maybe what you’re really longing for isn’t another person telling you how to fix yourself.
Maybe you want to feel seen.
Not for what you accomplish or how well you take care of everyone else—but for the woman underneath it all.
You don’t need to become less capable. You just shouldn’t have to pay for your capability with your peace.
What healing can look like in your everyday life:
As we continue our work together, you'll begin learning how to notice what you need before you're completely drained.
You’ll begin to notice that you're not automatically criticizing yourself when you need a break.
You can have a hard day and tell your partner, “I've had a really hard day. I don't need you to fix it. I just need you to listen.”
Instead of holding everything in until you become resentful.
You can sit at the kitchen table and color with your child without your mind racing through your to-do list.
You can tell your child, “Mommy needs a few minutes to herself.”
And instead of spending the rest of the day feeling guilty, you can feel at peace taking care of yourself.
You can begin to notice when you need connection—and when you simply need some time alone.
You can relax in your favorite chair with a good book without mentally running through everything you should be accomplishing.
You can begin to experience your beautiful life instead of constantly managing it.
And eventually, little by little, you begin to believe:
I don't have to take care of everyone to deserve care myself.
I can feel my feelings without being wrong.
I don't have to earn my worth.
I can rest without accomplishing something first.
I can have needs without being selfish.
You’re the woman everyone describes as capable, caring, and strong—but privately, you're exhausted from trying so hard to hold everything together.
THIS IS FOR YOU IF…
You are the one everyone comes to when they need help.
Worry about disappointing people—even when you haven't done anything wrong.
Have a hard time saying no without feeling guilty.
Lie awake replaying the day or worrying about tomorrow.
Want to feel more confident in yourself and your decisions.
Are ready to be honest about what isn't working, even if your life looks perfectly fine from the outside.
THIS IS NOT FOR YOU IF…
You want a quick fix.
Someone to tell you exactly what to do
Surface-level coping strategies
Solely focusing on changing your thoughts.
You want to avoid uncomfortable conversations
This work is for the woman who is ready to go deeper.
The woman who is willing to ask:
“What if the way I've learned to survive isn't the way I want to live anymore?”
What Happens Next?
Step 1:
Schedule Free Consultation
Through a video call, we'll talk about what's bringing you to therapy and what you're hoping will change.
Step 2:
Are We a Good Fit?
On the consultation call, you can ask questions, learn how I work, and see if you feel comfortable working with me.
Step 3:
Beginning Where You Are
If we decide to work together, we’ll schedule the first session either in-person in Chico, Ca, or virtual throughout California.
“Sarah let me lead in my own discoveries but helped me be completely open and explore my life in ways I’ve never before. And she taught me tools that were invaluable to me and changed my life completely.”
— Olivia, Former Client